Laach? Ah Near Weet Masel'!
Laach? Ah Near Fell Aff The Chunty!
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Twa Wee Bookies Tae Gar Ye Laach!
Compiled by Ythan Music Trust as fund raising publications, these are jokes and stories for those who enjoy the uniqueness of north east Scottish humour.
Here's a sample 'Shaggy Dog Story'.
It was the school holidays in Oldmeldrum and eight year old Jeannie
was more than a bit fed up.
“Mither, can I tak’ the dug for a wa’k aroon the park”, she enquired.
“Na, at’s nae on ava, the dugs in heat”, came the reply.
“Fit diz that mean – in heat”, persisted Jeannie.
“Awa’ an’ speir at yir faither, he’s muckin’ oot the byre”.
So, Jeannie goes out to the byre and says,
“Fadder, I’m needin’ tae tak the dug for a wa’k aroon the park,
but mither says it’s in heat and tae hae a newsy tae you aboot it”.
Her father thought for a while then said, “Bring the dug o’er here”.
He took a cloth, dipped it in diesel and rubbed the dog’s rear end with it.
"Okay, awa’ ye ging, but keep her on o’ a leash an’ jist gin roon’
the park aince”.
Jeannie left but within a few minutes she had re-appeared with
the leash, but no dog.
“Fit’s happened, far’s the dug”, asked her father excitely.
“Weel”, said Jeannie, “she seemed tae rin out o’ diesel nae far
doon the road and anither dug is shovin’ her hame”